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[其他年龄] 哪些经历会让你觉得「我一定不是爸妈亲生的」?

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发表于 2017-2-3 13:21:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
如题!哪些经历会让你觉得「我一定不是爸妈亲生的」?
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发表于 2017-2-3 13:22:00 | 显示全部楼层
不是我,是我基友。

大学第一年回家,他床不见了,变成了书房。他冲去找他妈。他妈喜笑颜开的说:‘’反正你都大学了,一年回来不到好久,毕业就搬出去找妹儿耍朋友结婚。我和你们爸早就想要个书房了,终于你毕业了。‘’

说完再也没正眼看他一眼,和他爸继续讨论选书柜的样式。

那一瞬间,他终于相信他是捡来的。打电话找约我们喝酒借酒消愁,被大家嘲笑了一个晚上。

大学四年,他每次回家都睡的沙发。毕业就滚出去自己住了。对了,他家的狗,也有自己的窝,之豪华。

ps最近的。他家经济条件蛮好的,还有许多不动产。退休后他爸给他说,你妈太辛苦了我要带她出去耍。他完全不懂他妈辛苦在哪儿,这辈子都没做过家务,下楼买瓶酱油都是他爸指使他去。

然后,他爸就放大招了。

先卖了一套翡翠城的房子买了个suv,然后拿着剩下的钱带他妈出去旅游。他爸打算没钱了继续卖房子,反正最后留二套过生活就是。

不是留给他,是二老住一套收一套租金,怕她妈想买什么退休金不够。对了,他爸退休金一个月7000,她妈4000。

他又打电话约我们喝酒借酒消愁了。


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发表于 2017-2-3 13:23:12 | 显示全部楼层
【这事儿其实我不想说的……】

    九岁那年还是十岁那年……忘了,反正就这两年的事儿。

    我放暑假回牧区姥姥家,天天放羊,过得悠游自在。(还晒得黝黑!)

    某天爸妈来牧区看我了,带来很多好吃的。下午我照常去放羊,爸爸回到牧区很高兴,也陪我去放羊。

     放着放着,爸爸在远处让我过去。

     我到他身边才发现,跟前有条蛇。

     爸爸非常好奇的看着那蛇跟我说:”你把它抓起来。“

      这我就奇怪了:“我抓?有毒没毒啊?”

      爸爸:“不知道,你试试。”


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发表于 2017-2-3 13:25:04 | 显示全部楼层
不废话。

就昨天,我问麻麻。
“妈咪,我国庆要回家吗?”
“你非要回就回吧。”
“什么非要回?我都走了一个月了,你不想我吗?”
“啊,你都走了一个月了呀,看来真是有你没你都一样了。”
(╬▔^▔)凸
有我没我都一样!


然后我问粑粑。
“爸比,我中秋节要回家吗?”
“别吧,我和你妈还要过节呢。”
“⊙0⊙”


不是一般朋友圈都是孩子屏蔽家长吗?
虽然我不太用朋友圈这些,
可我也没有屏蔽谁呀。
然而有一天我用粑粑的手机翻朋友圈。
看到了麻麻很多动态。。。
而我的手机上看不到。
我问麻麻
“妈咪,为什么我的朋友圈看不到你的动态捏?”
“啊,不想给你看呢。”

⊙︿⊙
我竟无言以对。


我不吃葱姜蒜。
爸比做了蒜泥白肉,挑一块给我
“来,多吃点,香!”
妈咪“你又忘了,她不吃蒜。”
爸比直接把夹给我的夹给我妈。
“没事,你爱吃就行了。”
你爱吃就行了。。。行了。。。

每次我不吃什么的时候,
妈妈就会说“你别挑食行吗?你看你不健康那样儿。”
爸爸会用眼神助攻。
于是我会默默吞下我不吃的食物。
然而在我到高中住校前,我从未吃过番茄炒蛋和苦瓜炒蛋。
在我以为妈妈不知道这两道菜,于是周末回家兴冲冲地做了之后。
我听见妈妈这样说“哎呀,这菜我就不爱吃!你做它干吗!我不吃我不吃,对身体好我也不吃!”
然后爸爸就在旁边说“就是啊,你妈不爱吃你逼她吃干啥?”

(╬▔︵▔)凸
天气很晴朗,我的胃和心都凉了。


有一次一家人在沙发上看电视。
我说“爸爸,她们都说,女儿是爸爸上辈子的情人呢。”
我爸哈哈笑了一下就过去了。
我妈看了看我也哈哈笑了一下就过去了。
第二天我和妈妈吃饭,妈妈突然说
“你说你是怎么想到说这句话的呀。”
“哪句?”
“哈哈哈,就女儿是爸爸上辈子情人的那句。”
“怎么了?”
“没,我们就想说,你爸上辈子得多瞎呀。”

呵呵哒
求心理阴影面积,来不来一发?


我和爸爸的视频通话,一般时长都是这样。


并不是我不愿意说,
而是“行了,我知道了。我要看电视,你自己玩你自己的。”
“我和你妈在说话。”
“我要办事。”
“我没空。。。。。。”
“发语音放那就行了,我空了听。”

我感觉我快要窒息了。

我想问问问!问我该怎么脱身!
你却说花花世界!不必当真!
怪自己来不及区分!
你对我是酷爱!是敷衍!



最感觉自己不是亲生的就在于这里了!
随意分享几个!


寒假一次吃饭前,爸爸上上下下看了看我说
“你是不是有点太放纵自己了?”
于是我默默地当起了兔子,
在我吃着青菜并且小口小口地吃了几口饭的很长时间里,爸爸一直在给妈妈挑肉!
我不满“我才刚要到100斤!妈妈都快110了哎!”
“可是你不是单身没人要吗?”

(╬▔^▔)凸
哇,我生平第一次感受到了秀恩爱的伤害。


七夕节,我给妈妈发消息,
“妈妈,要不要我送花给你呀 ~ ”
“不要,这是我和你爸的节日,管你什么事儿?”
晚上我收到了妈妈送的礼物。
“想让你自己买朵花,可是听起来太寒酸了,但是我又想节日连花都没一朵,看起来就更寒酸了。”

⊙﹏⊙
我真是丢人了呢!


在家里前任打电话过来,妈妈在一边听着,
我客套几句后挂了电话。
妈妈“人家把你甩了吧?”
我“我说的分手好吗!妈妈!”
妈妈(冷笑)“呵呵,你以为我会相信你噢。”

你伤害了我,还呵呵而过!
(╯▔^▔)╯



大学有一次被表白,鉴于场面实在做得太好看了。
于是忍不住告诉了妈妈,分享了图片。
我期待着妈妈教育我的时候。
妈妈看完照片,发来一段语音。
“哈哈哈哈哈哈,这孩子眼瞎了吧?”

Σ(⊙▽⊙"
真是万万没想到。


最奇怪就是明明我已经谈了很多次恋爱,
妈妈知道的就不少。
可妈妈就是坚持我嫁不出去。
我撒娇的时候
“你看你这样儿,谁家还想养个女儿啊。”
我认真和妈妈讨论问题的时候。
“你真有想法啊,不过你觉得你这样还能嫁出去?”
我做饭的时候。
“你看你也就能做个饭了,也好,没人要你也不会饿死。”
我弹吉他。
“真难听,去书房弹。你结婚了都得被赶出去。”
我出门跑步。
“哎真丑。怪不得没人看上你哟。”
我说“妈,咱不带这打击人的行么?”
“哎哟哎哟,脾气还臭,快,趁还年轻去相亲吧。”

我心好痛。




和妈妈讨论以后的事情。
“我和你爸爸,以后就四川福建两头跑着住,到处去旅游。你自己再在成都买套房吧。不用给我们留房间,我们不想和你一起住。”

怎么了!你累了!
说好的幸福呢!




大学有一次特别想回家想妈妈,哭着打电话
“妈妈,我好想你。”
“你这孩子有点奇怪呀。”
我真等着温情的话出现,然后。
“你到底想我什么呀,我怎么就不想你呢。”

(*▔^▔*)
瞬间没了气氛。


朋友寄了零食给我,我分给妈妈
妈妈说“肯定是情敌送的吧,想把你养成猪。(看了看我)恩,感觉她快成功了。”
朋友躺枪。
ㄟ(▔皿▔ㄟ)

关于好不好意思。

我高三收到了很多信件。
有一次在收拾的时候妈妈看到了,
随便拿了封看了几句。
“你这些朋友对你也太宽容了吧,把你都说成什么样了!啧啧,你好意思吗?”
同样的事情发生在知乎。
偶尔我会把问题分享给妈妈看。
她看了几次评论。
“这些人都是你朋友吗,为什么都这么宽容你?你好意思吗?”


出门一起去购物,
我背着妈妈的包,包里还放着爸爸的包。
提着购物袋。
妈妈吃着冰淇淋和爸爸在前面逛逛逛。
然后妈妈提了个卤菜口袋。
我爸“你让你妈提这么多东西,你好意思吗?”


(≧﹏ ≦)
我真不好意思呀!






第一次做饭给爸爸妈妈吃。
全程无交流吃完饭后。
我“好吃吗?”
妈妈“恩,记得把碗洗了。”
(╯▔皿▔)╯


第一次买比较贵重的礼物的父亲,
爸爸“我很喜欢。”
妈妈“你安慰她干啥!就告诉她实话吧,这玩意儿都丑成啥样了?而且你自己说,你爸能带这表出去吗?”
爸爸“没事,宝贝儿,以后别费这事儿就好了。”
╯0╰ 噢no!





暑假一个人在家里,一天没吃饭
给妈妈发语音,想撒个娇
“妈妈,我一天没吃饭了。”
过了半个小时。
“昨儿个吃撑了?”
(╯▔︵▔)╯
我不死心,给爸爸发消息。
“爸爸!我都一天没吃饭了!”
“哦,那明天记得吃。”

ㄟ(▔︵▔ㄟ) 这日子没法过了!


去年情人节回家家里没人,
给爸爸妈妈打电话都没人接。
然后桌子上发现一张纸条和两百块。
“我和你爸玩去了,给你两百块,别打扰我们。”

°(°ˊДˋ°) °
我到底是什么呀!




问过爸爸妈妈我的出生,
“爸爸,我是从哪儿来的呀。”
“以前爸爸在医院边工作,有个大姐抱了个娃要丢,说长得太丑了。我看她可怜,就拿回来养着玩了。对,那娃就是你。”
养着玩。。。玩。。。

“妈妈,我是从哪儿来的呀。”
“那天上帝说我们家太幸福了,得让我们平均平均,所以给我丢了个你下来。”

╮(╯Д╰)╭
所以我是拉低我们家平均幸福水平的吗?


刚才,我问妈妈
“妈妈,要我买月饼吗?”
“不要,我要吃你爸爸买哒!”

哎,所以有时候真的也会想,我真不是亲生的吧,可是谁叫我是个贴心小棉袄呢。


况且粑粑麻麻真的也好可爱。
就像我问爸爸。
“爸爸,我回来的时候要买月饼吗?”
“没事,你把月亮摘回来就好了。”
╮(╯▽╰)╭


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发表于 2017-5-19 19:50:59 | 显示全部楼层
大家什么看法?我先支持












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发表于 2017-8-19 23:03:46 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2017-9-15 20:21:58 | 显示全部楼层
Hi everyone! Lately I have been dealing with a lot of challenges. Friends and doctors keep telling me I should consider taking meds, so I may as well Contact and see how it goes. Problem is, I haven't taken it for a while, and don't wanna get back to it, we'll see how it goes.
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